Taking Out Your Emotional Trash by Georgia Shaffer

Author:Georgia Shaffer
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780736927260
Publisher: Harvest House Publishers

TRASH TALK

Ongoing forgiveness keeps toxic, deadly emotions

from building up. Daily forgiveness is my

foremost prescription for a person’s total mental,

emotional, spiritual, and physical health.

DON COLBERT, MD

Anger is a common emotion that keeps reappearing during a time of loss and grief, especially after the initial shock and numbness are gone. As long as Christie is grieving, she is wise to address those feelings. Short-term, being angry is a healthy response. The longer she holds on to fury though, the harder it will be to forgive and let go. Anger and hostility can take root in our hearts and grow quickly into bitterness. Christie could find herself more “at home” with her anger than with the positive feelings of peace and joy that forgiveness can bring. The notion that it will be easier to forgive later is simply false.

Barbara lost her young son in a fire. She held on to her rage for more than 20 years. She was furious with the insurance company because of all the battles she fought with them. She was irate with friends whom she described as clueless about what she was going through. As long as she was consumed with rage, Barbara felt powerful and in control. She believed her fury was punishing people for their insensitivity. But in fact the anger was hurting her. She became a negative, complaining person people avoided as much as possible.

Tyler Perry, writer and producer of many movies including The Diary of an Angry Black Woman, learned how much better life could be when he gave up his rage. Tyler had an extremely abusive childhood. He was often beaten by his father who didn’t appreciate his son’s artistic gift of writing.

Years later Tyler ran into financial problems and forged his father’s signature on a car loan. When the car was repossessed and his father found out about the default and its impact on his credit, he called Tyler and unloaded his fury. During this heated conversation Tyler finally expressed all the rage he’d held on to for years. When he was done, and after a long pause, Tyler heard his father say for the first time, “I love you.”

Tyler said, “After we hung up, I felt light, empty, and exhausted. I knew that I would never again look at my father in hurt or anger. But in a strange way, I also sensed that something had died. I sat crying for hours, as if I were in mourning. My energy source, my fight, the rage that had moved me every day—it was all gone. Slowly but surely, I began to fuel my days with joy instead of fury. That year—call it coincidence—my play sold out.”5

Like Tyler’s experience, when we let go of the bitterness and anger that once motivated us to get up each day, we too might feel a strange emptiness. However, we now have more room for love and joy and the energy to make a positive impact in the lives of others.

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